A FOUR LESSON COURSE ON MANAGEMENT

Some lessons on management are complex and leave a lot of variables.  Here is a simple explanation of management principles that apply to all aspects of life.

LESSON 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.”

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.  After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps the towel back up and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was that?”

“It was Bob, our next-door neighbor,” she replies.

“Great,” the husband says.  “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

LESSON 2:

A priest offered a nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”

The priest removed his hand.  But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”

The priest apologized, “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.”

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.  It said, “Go forth and seek.  Further up you will find glory.”

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

LESSON 3:

A sales rep, an administrative clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a genie comes out.

The genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish.”

“Me first!  Me first!” says the admin clerk.  “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.”

Puff!  She’s gone.

“Me next!  Me next!” says the sales rep.  “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life”

Puff!  He’s gone.

“Okay, you’re up,” the genie says to the manager.

The manger says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

LESSON 4:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing?”

The eagle answered, “Sure, why not.”

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.  All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

ArtSchwartzSig

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