A few non serious thoughts to break the monotony of being sequestered for two months.

For all Lexophiles; i.e., Lovers of Words

1. A bicycle can’t stand alone because it is two-tired.

2. What’s the definition of a will? It’s a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In democracy, it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your count that votes.

6. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

7. If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

8. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.

9. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

10. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

11. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

12. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

13. He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.

14. Every calendar’s days are numbered.

15. A lot of money is tainted. ‘Taint yours and ‘taint mine.

16. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

17. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

18. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

19. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

21. When you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall

22. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

23. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dyed.

24. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

25. Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

26. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

Travel Plans for 2020

I have been in many places, but I’ve never been in Kahoots. Apparently, you can’t go alone. You have to be in Kahoots with someone.

I’ve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don’t have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I’m not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I’ve been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I’m in Capable, and I go there more often as I’m getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age, I need all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent, but I don’t remember what country I was in. It’s an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.

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